The next ride is the one where he throws me, right?

Two notes before I begin:

1. Yes, I know I am not wearing a helmet. I am sure somewhere there is a blog called Stubborn Assholes Who Won’t Wear A Helmet where you can talk about what an idiot I am. Sorry, I hate the damn things. I’m one of those people.

2. I have debated putting up pictures because Very Large Colt is a stallion prospect, and if I were purely focused on his marketing, no amateur photo of him would ever see the light of day. However, I am not going to breed him unless he can earn a show record worthy of that, and after he does that, I figure his record will speak for itself and it will not matter if there are some bad pictures of him on the Internet. Also, the kind of people who cannot see through the occasional bad picture are probably the same people who own fugly mares I would refuse to breed anyway. So what the hell…

Another day, another mental battle about whether or not to ride…Very Large Colt was turned out in the arena with the saddle on and I was standing there contemplating catching him.

Left Brain: OK, you just did ground work yesterday, now get your ass out there and ride him again. You didn’t die the first time.

Right Brain: I don’t know….it cooled down, it’s windy…he’s much higher tonight. He’s not quiet like he was the other night.

Left Brain: Yeah, he’s actually trotting without being chased. Woooo! What a wild ass! Call the rodeo!

Right Brain: I don’t think he’s going to stand still for me to get on.

Left Brain: You’ve ridden approximately 200 off the track Thoroughbreds in your life. Maybe one or two of them ever stood for you to get on.

Right Brain: They weren’t 16-fucking-2! They were little, safe-sized polo prospects.

Left Brain: You have a western saddle, there’s a horn on it. How hard can this be?

Right Brain: Yeah I know. I could hang my sweatshirt up in that horn if he does something unexpected and get dragged and die.

Left Brain: How many times in your 32 year riding career has that happened?

Right Brain: There’s a first time for everything!

Left Brain: And a second time. So get your ass on that horse and ride him a second time. Whiner.

My friend came out and attempted to keep Very Large Colt somewhat still while I mounted. Predictably, I immediately felt him about to Do Something so I said “LET GO!” I have a pathological fear of being flipped over on, and am fairly convinced if you restrain a nervous horse in any way, that is what will happen. I would rather they gallop down the arena with me half on than go up. My friend immediately let go, and Very Large Colt did a rather fast pivot. I actually am used to this kind of stuff and managed to finish getting on gracefully mid-spin; however Very Large Colt’s Very Large Ass knocked my poor friend on her ass.

Baaaaad colt.

We then backed up. When he is not quite sure what he should do, he backs up really fast, which I am actually kind of OK with as I imagine it’s hard to go from backing up really fast to bucking really hard. He stopped pretty quickly and we did the drunken sailor walk back down the wall.

I was surprised and pleased that he figured out tonight that leg means go forward. Sometimes the reaction you get to leg is that the whole body locks up, the tail swishes and they go “hey, bitch, stop squeezing my ribs or you’re going to be sorry.” You know you are in for an, um, interesting time when you get that. So I was pretty much super thrilled that he figured out leg and cluck meant walk forward.

Very Large Colt is interesting in that he’s so freaking big that my weight on him really isn’t affecting him a bit. He doesn’t have the unsteadiness I’m used to the first few rides, where you feel them trying to figure out WTF to do with over a hundred extra pounds on their back. I am trying to decide if this is good (i.e. he’s already sure of himself and his feet so if he were going to blow, he could have done it already) or bad (my weight doesn’t affect him a bit and if he decides to do some incredibly athletic air above the ground, my presence is not going to slow him down a bit).

As for me? I got on with that weak in the knees feeling you get right after you avoid a car accident. I was shaking and I knew it. I decided tonight to babble nonstop to myself the whole time – mostly about how people used to pay me to do this and I rode all manner of crazy shit and this wasn’t even crazy shit, this was a perfectly nice, sweet and good tempered colt who just happened to be a little large. It worked. I stopped shaking. At least until he shook his head a few times. Yes, that stunning show of temper resulted in more leg shaking. But hey, I stayed on for at least ten minutes this time, and we walked both directions as well as halting several times. All is well – things went fine. I’m sure Very Large Colt can’t figure out why the loser on his back is so nervous, but that’s okay. I may get over it by the time he is five or six…
I will now quit typing and begin obsessing over the upcoming third ride…because we all know that is the one where they realize they are going to have to work for a living and try to dump your ass…

And how are the rest of you doing? Who rode today?
Published in: on April 25, 2008 at 4:20 am  Leave a Comment  

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